99 Proof

Verse 1

Like Tennessee whiskey or Jamaican rum,

You make me lightheaded then leave me numb.

Your kiss lights a fire in my chest.

I got a thirst only your sweet lips can quench.

You pack some kick yet you’re really smooth.

Darlin’ I’d swear you’re 99 proof,

Chorus 1

(99, 99 proof) Yeah, you’re 99 proof.

(99, 99 proof) 99 proof.

(99, 99 proof) You drown away my blues

‘cause you’re 99 proof.

Verse 2

I do crazy things under your influence.

Thinking of you I backed my car through the fence.

Took my laundry to the bank to be cleaned.

Tried to withdraw cash from a Maytag machine.

Almost went to work with nothing on but my boots.

I guess it’s because you’re 99 proof.

Chorus 2

(99, 99 proof) Yeah, you’re 99 proof.

(99, 99 proof) 99 proof.

(99, 99 proof) Ain’t that the truth

That you’re you’re 99 proof.

Instrumental

Bridge

The cops keep pulling me over; they think I’m juiced.

But I can’t walk a straight line ‘cause baby...you’re 99 proof.

Chorus 3

(99, 99 proof) Yeah, you’re 99 proof.

(99, 99 proof) 99 proof.

(99, 99 proof) You’re a martini in a bikini, baby.

(99, 99 proof) Sweet as vermouth and 99 proof.

(99, 99 proof) Yeah, you’re 99 proof.

(99, 99 proof) 99 proof.

© Don Micallef

Horses, Just Like Men

Verse 1

They like to run with the herd; they need the open range.

Got a wild streak in ‘em; it’s hard to get ‘em to change.

Don’t try to train ‘em, restrain ‘em,

Most times you can’t explain ‘em.

Say bridle and you might spook them.

Horses, just like men.

Bridge

Most of them seem sweet, of good breed,

Take things at a slow speed.

But careful ‘bout which ones you trust.

‘Cause some will jolt you, bolt on you,

Just take off and throw you

Leave you in a cloud of dust.

Verse 2

They just do what feels good; it’s not their nature to think.

You can lead ‘em to water; can’t tell ‘em how much to drink.

They like to buck and strut

When they’re out to stud

And they’ve picked up on a filly’s scent.

Horses, just like men.

Instrumental

Repeat Bridge

Verse 3

But when the late day sun catches them just right,

With every muscle shining, mmm, they’re a beautiful sight.

Showing off their great lines, strong thighs

Melt you with those brown eyes,

And, um, yeah, a firm hind end.

Horses, just like men.

Yeah horses, just like men.

They’re just like men (fade)

© Don Micallef

I Dreamed I Didn't Love You

Verse 1

Last night as I slept in my bed

The strangest dream ran through my head.

I had plenty of money and no bills to pay.

Only went to work every other Wednesday.

I lit Cuban cigars with hundred dollar bills.

Drove a 50-foot long Coupe De Ville.

Then it dawned on me none of this could be true

‘cause in my dream I didn’t love you.

Chorus

I dreamed I didn’t love you, man what a crazy thing.

Even now it’s something I have trouble picturing.

Because without you I wouldn’t know what to do.

That’s why I can’t believe I dreamed I didn’t love you.

Verse 2

That dream got even stranger for me.

My skin turned purple and my hair was green.

Each hand grew ten fingers and I had four arms.

Man, I could play piano while picking the guitar.

Then I joined the circus, was an acrobat.

This took place underwater, did I mention that?

But I knew none of this could ever be true

‘cause in my dream I didn’t love you.

Repeat Chorus

© Don Micallef

Out With the Boys Tonight

Verse 1

“Honey, I need to go out tonight.  I feel I’m climbin’ the walls.

I just want to see some old friends of mine.  I promise that is all.”

She looked at me with suspicion, like wives often do.

And though she asked where I was going, she didn’t ask with who.

Chorus 1

And I’ll be out with the boys tonight.

I should be home before daylight.

I’ve known them ever since I was eighteen.

Together we’ve done some crazy things.

Our friendship gets better with age.

I see them with every glass I raise.

Pretty soon I’ll be feeling alright

When I’m out with the boys tonight.

Verse 2

I told her I’d be home late, these guys can turn me into a talker.

I didn’t mention one of them was known as Johnny Walker.

And you know it would’ve been like burning both ends of the candle

If I also told her another one went by the name of Jack Daniels.

Repeat Chorus 1

Verse 3

She said: “I don’t want you coming home drunk.”  
I said: “I don’t know what you mean.”

It didn’t sound reassuring to say I’d be with Jim Beam.

So instead I said: “Don’t worry, do you really think I’m gonna be bad?

I’ll be spending the night watching over a little Old Grand Dad?”

Chorus 3

And I’ll be out with the boys tonight.

I should be home before daylight.

These days we don’t get together a lot.

But when I call they’re here in a shot.

My wife won’t speak to me again

If I ever breathe a word of them.

But for now everything’s alright

‘Cause I’m out with the boys tonight.

Everything’s gonna be alright

‘Cause I’m out with the boys tonight.

© Don Micallef

The Best Thing I Never Did

Verse 1

I was six, goin’ on seven.

Playing with my buddy, Jack.

He saw a freight train in the distance

And dared me to stand on the railroad track.

I started walking slowly toward the rails

But at the last second I stepped back.

Chorus

Thinkin’ ‘bout it years later I’d admit

That was the best thing I never did,

Thanks to a voice I heard inside my head.

Sayin’ “Do what you know is right

Or it could haunt you for the rest of your life.”

That dare was the best thing I never did.

Verse 2

Frankie always looked for trouble.

And he found it late one night.

He pulled up in a stolen Chevy

And said “Hop in, let’s go for a ride.”

But when the trooper pulled him over

He was the only one inside.

Chorus

Thinkin’ ‘bout it years later I’d admit

That was the best thing I never did,

Thanks to a voice I heard inside my head.

Sayin’ “Do what you know is right

Or it could haunt you for the rest of your life.”

That joy ride was the best thing I never did.

Bridge

Tonight I was sitting in a bar alone

My best friend's wife walked up and sat down.

After a couple of drinks she took my hand

Then said: "I'm feeling lonely but don't worry, Joe's out of town."

Final Chorus

Thinkin’ ‘bout it here right now I’d admit

That might be the best thing I never did,

Thanks to a voice I still hear inside my head.

Sayin' “Do what you know is right

Or it could haunt you for the rest of your life.”

Leavin’ with her was the best thing I never did.

Those were the best things I never did.

© Don Micallef